So you have met a new guy. But what are the signs that he is Mr Right? How do you know if he is the one, your soul mate, that you can be happy ever after with?

Is it Your Intuition?
Often you will know the moment you meet someone that there is something special about them. It’s that ‘eyes meeting across the room’ feeling. We are not talking about sexual attraction here, but something deeper. It’s the same feeling that you might get when you first meet someone who is destined to become a great friend. Your intuition tells you that there is some link between you and this person – like you already know them. There is no desperate desire, just the feeling that it is right that you should know this person.

This is the feeling that people describe when they meet their soul mates. But remember, just because he is a soul mate does not necessarily mean that he is the right life partner for you. There are many kinds of soul mate. Sometimes they are family, sometimes they are just very good friends. So this intuition by itself is not enough to identify your Mr Right. If you find he is not available, or not interested in you, accept it and be friendly. There will be some other purpose to your getting to know him.

Is It Synchronicity?
Synchronicity is the phenomenon of meaningful things happening together in such a way that they are linked, although one thing did not cause the other. It is as if there is a pattern to the events that is showing you that you are going in the right direction. If he is the right guy for you, then getting together should not be too much of a struggle. You will find everything falling into place as if it was ‘meant to be’.

If there are obstacles now and then, they will be overcome; generally, the path is smooth. Sometimes you may meet the right person at the wrong time. Synchronicity is not there and if you try to force a relationship to happen, it will hit a brick wall. Better to let him go. If he is your Mr Right, he will come back into your life again later, when it is the right time for both of you.

Depth
When you get together with Mr Right, of course you will both fall in love. But most people fall in love often. By itself, that is not necessarily a recipe for living happily ever after. Try to look beyond the overwhelming emotion of love and think about whether this is a person you will still want to live with when the first rush of love has died down – as it will. If you find this hard to imagine, consider what you would think if he was a friend of yours.

Do you have plenty of interests in common, or are you just tagging along for his sake? Do you have the same hopes and expectations of life? Do you have the same attitudes to questions like job security, insurance and money management? Do you get along with each other’s families and friends?

These points will be important later down the line. All of them are signs that he is Mr Right – not just the man of the moment.

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How to say “I love you” ever been difficult to master? Are you the type that just can’t utter those three words without shying away from it, feeling you may get rejected or even being to embarassed to say it? Well, have you ever thought about how to tell your love these words without having to say anything? It is possible, you know. Everyone doesn’t have to hear those words to know that they are loved.

There are many ways to tell someone you love them without the gushy sweet sounds of those three little words. However, the important part is that the receiver has to know that this is your love language and not be expecting you to verbally say the words despite your actions towards them.

Some examples of filling your lover’s love pool (creating a love reservoir) is when you know they like this special type of chili and you can only get it during the winter season. While out running errands, you go by the restaurant that serves it and pick up a bowl for your partner who of course is not expecting it.

Or maybe you decide to join a cake decorating class and your husband surprisingly pipes up that he wants to join also as an effort to spend more time with you with one of your interests. Plus, when you get there he’s the only guy in the class and even learns how to decorate a cake better than you!

You know the experts say we become desensitized to violence; we are also getting to the same point with expressing our love to one another. It’s either lost in a sea of forgetfulness, a bad argument or indifference because your partner did something you didn’t like and you don’t have the courage to confront them. The love you may have for your partner is withheld, it becomes conditional and then an unseen wall develops between you both where no love can either seep in or penetrate the wall you’ve created.

There are only meaningful ways to send your love without having to say those three words. Sometimes those three words get lost in translation because they stop meaning anything because they are used so often and frequently. They become customary like, “Good morning, how are you?” Telling someone you love is suppose to matter and make them feel the impact of those words rather than hearing them without any signs of a reaction. For example you could:

Do something totally out of character. If your mate can tell others that you would never do a particular activity or act, do it. Do it for them as a means to show them they matter. Isn’t that what love is really all about? We sacrifice our own selfish contentment for those of another?

If your partner knows you hate sending cards, but they love receiving them. Do it, for them. If you don’t send cards for any reason, surprise your lover and leave a card for them to find inside their car, briefcase or purse. Inside the card, just sign it, thinking of you, with love.

When you’re at a social gathering or even at home busy with your family, find your partner with your eyes, meet their gaze and send them a smile, nod or wink. This communicates your secret language that only the two of you understand.

When sending love it’s not about how many times you say, “I love you”, but it’s really the number of times you’re able to take your mate’s breath away like when you take that first sip of coffee and get that warm feeling that travels throughout your body or when someone touches your soul with sweet nothings that can make you blush uncontrollably. That’s love, that’s how love feels.

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Was I standing still? It moved right past me with such lightening speed. I know I didn’t feel it and I can’t describe it to you because I couldn’t see or touch it. I just know about it based on the changes to my body, face and hair. My children at one time were infants, toddlers, adolescents, teens and now adults. I can’t say I was left behind, because it . . . time enveloped me as it passed with each breath I took. Now, when looking into any mirror I gauge its aftermath as I move towards the inevitable, the moment that will be the last time I will see myself or the remnants of my life.

I waited for the right day to come to apologize for my mistakes, whether verbal or otherwise towards others, my family and friends. My mind always advised me that now was not the right time. You should wait another day, another moment, another time where the conditions for your makeup would be better or more palatable in your mind towards the other person. The suggested times from our mind’s conversation with us never comes. If it does, we didn’t recognize it and decided to opt out of making amends as we worked to conjure up a reason to alleviate our presence to avoid connecting with another.

I kept waiting, but the right time never came. Time, it just went without purpose except to just move on as it extracts its toll on all of us. Time flows along like an invisible unseen fog only distinguishable and discernible by our age and how our children have suddenly blossomed from dependent infants to independent adults. No explanation exists that can decipher its aftermath. It cannot be seen when it happens, but only after it leaves its telling mark on us.

It would be great to have the ability to measure its visits or even temper them with a schedule of sorts, but that can never be because life is just designed that way. How do you define time? It could be when you understood you could no longer support the weight of your child in your lap that it was time for them to stop wanting the safety of your cuddling, but to fend for themselves. Or even when they no longer initiated the snug embraces you grew accustomed to as you sent them love that seemed to seep deep into their soul. It was for no reason, only just because.

The coldness that now exists between you and them, it’s because the right time never came to make up, to make amends. So, we let it be. We learn to accept and live out our lives without those that add meaning to our mere existence. We decide in our mind its best this way as we keep up with one another through hearsay from others.

An unknown author penned the words, “Time is priceless, yet it costs us nothing. You can do anything you want with it, but own it. You can spend it, but you can’t keep it. Once you’ve lost it, there’s no getting it back. It’s just gone”. It’s like water trickling through your hands as you rush to take a sip.

All this time, during your life, you’ve made the decision in your head to be angry at people you were once close to. It’s time that you could have spent being happy, but now it’s just time that’s gone that can’t be retrieved or even allowed a do over. As people we waste a lot of time holding onto anger, but it’s actually a choice we make to avoid feeling uncomfortable if we have to say, I’m sorry that I hurt you.

We decide in our head instead of our heart, that now is not the right time while we wait patiently for more time, the right time, another time to decide when to make amends to someone we love. For now, time continues to move on in our lives, but the time to nurture those relationships with the people who matter most is now, but even that can’t be because it’s been postponed because of a one moment in time.

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Relationships matter. As a society have we become so caught up in ourselves and ‘me time’ that our relationships cease to matter anymore? The computer and cell phone has given us a way to interact with one another without spending any face time. It’s all done by the press of a key on a keyboard. However, the facts remains that with all the texting and email, you can’t stop time and create memories or snapshots with your family and friends.

How do you stop time? How does one capture the very time, the very moment of an event in their life? You can’t capture a moment in your life if you fail to recognize it occurring before you. Sometimes our moments occur without our own personal knowledge, but may be captured by an onlooker or the other person involved. This snapshot of time standing still could have happened unexpectedly or was intentionally orchestrated. What are these captured snapshots and how can we assure ourselves of being able to create more?

Einstein talked about time being relative. Some may argue that you cannot stop time, but if we delve closer into this assertion there is an experiment where you stare at the second hand on a clock while you that time has stopped as the second hand appears to stall while in motion just for a moment. There are some that say it is an optical illusion drawn from the conscious mind. That may be true, but we all have had moments where we have sensed our second hand had momentarily stood still.

The passage of time is not about the second hand on a clock, but about our relationships with people especially those in your life that bring you the most joy. When time is captured, it stands still. It becomes defined as “in the moment” because time becomes suspended while the event is occurring. The experience, the memory, the moment created lingers like the feeling you get from the innocence of a child’s hug or the faint smell of lingering perfume or cologne from your lover as you release each other from a loving embrace. So, instead of investing in materials to save your marriage or get your ex back, think of the moments when time stood still and the feeling your experienced with that person and that will guide you back to how to save your relationship.

Relationships do matter. When the moment is there, you absentmindedly reminiscence about it while you’re stuck in traffic or waiting for the elevator. It’s like good food or fine wine which lingers heavily as it encapsulates you as time stood still just for that instant, just for that moment. And, if you’re lucky, you’ve created many of them to relive continuously throughout your life. For some, time stood still at the birth of your children, your first kiss, your first intimate encounter and yes, the ache in your heart over the first argument with someone you love dearly.

Have you thought about it now? How do you capture the moment? How do you stop time? Besides the use of a voice recorder, photograph or video the only other way to capture the moment is through our memories which sometimes can’t be counted upon to be an accurate account.

How do you capture time? Why you live each day creating those special moments with the people you care about the most. Each time you look in your child’s face and see yourself in their eyes you create a moment where you capture the significance of their existence. When you hold your elderly parent or loved one in your arms as you twinge with empathy at their frailty recalling the times that you relied on them for their strength and invincibility. Now you have taken their place.

You capture time by creating memories with the people in your life that matter because you couldn’t imagine your life without them in it. They make you feel safe. Sometimes they make you angry. They make you laugh and sometimes even cry. After these emotional and mental snapshots comes a quiet remembrance when time stood still for a moment and you swear you could hear the ever so lightly whisper of “I love you” only heard in silent understanding by those present as the slight pause in time occurred.

There are some of us who may choose to freeze the moment longer than necessary. We create a snapshot where you bid an extended unspoken farewell out of anger or misunderstanding as you move them further away from you with an awkward distance that neither of you can truly comprehend. Time frozen in hostility sometimes can never be forgiven. It just hangs suspended like a lone icicle on a snow filled roof top basked in heavy stillness. A coldness where the path to tolerance has been shut down by pride and a steely unwillingness to just “let it go” and move forward.

We all have the choice of how we will stop time and create our snapshots with or without our loved ones in our lives. However, we all know that the most pleasurable stoppage of time is when we’re in the zone and our family and friends are the focal point, our clock, our second hand.

Go out and create moments where you can see, hear and feel when time stood still because of the moments and your life’s snapshots you’ve created. And, as one last piece of advice, while you’re present in the moment, promise yourself to welcome the stoppage of time, savor the experience with peaceful surrender, as you deliberately take in this moment, this time, this life, your life.

Some people end up in divorce court or break up because they wait too long to find solutions to their problems. At times, those involved in volatile relationships have the mindset that if they work harder at ‘it’ the can either deal with the issues or they will go away. However, if you are not equipped with the skills, it really doesn’t matter how hard you work at it. For more information, visit my website at: http://www.u2canhavesuccess.com/relationshipsmatter.htm.

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Saying the words, “I’m sorry,” can be very difficult for some people especially if they are caught in the position of trying to get their ex back. There are those who like to be stubborn because they believe the other party isn’t owed an apology or the vulnerability involved may be too overwhelming for them to absorb. Could there be some merit to the belief by some relationship experts that apologizing may be just an excuse to repeat or continue the offending behavior? If that is the case, a genuine apology may not be as forthcoming as it should. The words can lose their meaning, fall on deaf ears and not have the affect one was hoping for when giving it.

The expressing of remorse can be learned, but has to have some degree of sincerity to it. It cannot be down without some thought put into it or without feeling. When offering up an apology for offensive behavior or words, it could be the difference between making up with no harmful aftermath or being placed on the silent treatment for a few hours to possibly days! Whatever the outcome, how can one express a heartfelt apology?

1. Deal with reality. You will need to gauge whether the receiver is open to discussing the issue and listening to your request for forgiveness. The best thing to do is check their nonverbal communication for clues on whether it’s the right time. Because asking for forgiveness is only part of the process, the receiver also has a part in the process and must be approachable, willing to hear you out and receptive to letting you off the hook for your behavior.

2. Be a good listener. During the apology process, the receiver will want to talk about their feelings. While the person is talking about the incident, it does not matter if you agree or disagree with their take on things. The goal for them is to be heard without interruption or critique of their dialogue. Make an effort to show some restraint and not become defensive. This is a situation where you have to be an empathetic listener without interruption or starting an argument because the other person’s details may not match your version of the events. Remember, you’re the one on the hot seat.

3. Be responsive to the receiver’s feelings. Too often, when our hands are caught in the cookie jar and we know that we have been caught, we quickly apologize with the understanding in our minds that the issue is closed. We may become reluctant to considering how our actions or words may affect the other person. The quickness of the regret sends the message that you would rather not talk about what happened. The apology then becomes an excuse to repeat the offending behavior again.

4. Have the courage to speak up. Instead of offering a quick apology and move on, talk about what happened. Some people do not have the courage to do this, as it requires them to take an emotional risk. Not only being in touch with their feelings, but the emotions and reaction from the other person, and also having to take responsibility for the offending behavior. This encourages accountability and also ensures the behavior doesn’t occur again.

5. Welcome embarrassment, don’t dismiss it as nothing. It can be embarrassing to be called out by your beloved regarding your behavior especially in a situation where in order to move forward, you will have to apologize for your actions. Or, the alternative is spending your time studying tips on how to get your ex back. At times, an apology can be difficult, but in those cases, you just suck it up and grin and bear it. Admit you’re wrong and move forward.

6. Be aware of how you say it and what you say. Temper your words with sensitivity and understanding. It’s important that you express that you understand why the other person was offended and reacted in the way they did to your behavior. This step is really important because it can make or break the apology process which is twofold: apologize with sincerity and then commit to changing your behavior and ensure it does not happen again.

I’m sorry does not have to be the hardest words to say. Apologies should help build and maintain relationships and not become a struggle between the two parties of who should apologize. This practice only increases and encourages conflict that often paralyzes a relationship and keeps it from maturing into an enriching and loving experience.

There are a lot of people interested in getting their ex back, and in some cases learning the anatomy of a good apology would be the first step in the right direction if you’re thinking of pulling your ex back. An apology expresses sincerity for wrongdoing and carries with it a promise to the receiver that the offending behavior will not occur again. For more information, visit my website at http://www.u2canhavesuccess.com/relationshipsmatter.htm.

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Are you interested in getting back together after a break up? How are you feeling after just breaking up with your ex? Getting back together after a break up is possible if you really want to make it happen. If you love the other person and want to rekindle things, there are some considerations that you need to make. Start to think about getting back together after a break up and you will be reminded of what broke the relationship up in the first place. What will you do to rekindle the old flame?

You may feel like the best way to initiate getting back together after a break up is to call your ex up and beg for their return. This is not the way to go! You may think that the best course of action is to lock yourself in your home and cry until you’ve run out of tears. This isn’t it either! If you’re serious about getting back together after a break up, there is a better way to go. Here are the three best steps that you can pursue for getting back together after a break up!

1 – First and foremost, getting back together after a break up means accepting that what happened happened.

It may be hard for you to accept that the breakup happened, but you cannot continue the relationship the way its going. You need to accept that the breakup happened so that you can work on renewing things. Getting back together after a break up means ending the original relationship and then starting new rather than trying to rekindle things in the same way they were before.

2 – Secondly, getting back together after a break up does not begin with calling your ex!

Do not call your ex when you are working on getting back together after a break up. Let things cool down, regulate your emotions and work on thinking about what happened to cause the break up. Getting back together after a break up is going to mean figuring out what went wrong and rectifying it before you call. Work on improving the relationship in your mind, and do not call your ex until things have normalized in your heart and head.

3 – Finally, getting back together after a break up means planning for the right timing.

Once you are feeling like you are more prepared for getting back together after a break up, you can begin to plan the where and how. By the time you are prepared to rekindle things, you will have a better idea about whether you are still in love with him or her or not. Since everything has ended now, don’t worry about who is at fault. Instead, focus on getting back together after a break up with positives in mind. Begin with casual conversation, a good friendship, and let things develop from there. If you take things slow and treat them positively, getting back together after a break up is easier than you would imagine.

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