Nearly all of us, at one time or another, have faced one of the following: A critical parent, an unkind spouse, unappreciative children, a demanding boss, back-stabbing coworkers, or gossipy friends. If these relationships have caused you to feel depressed, anxious, sick, hopeless, abandoned or emotionally depleted, then you may have been in a destructive relationship. Dr. Jill Murray, in her new book DESTRUCTIVE RELATIONSHIPS: A Guide To Changing The Unhealthy Relationships In Your Life (Jodere, September 2002), says that destructive relationships are so common as to be the rule rather than the exception in many women's lives today. In fact, she claims that many women suffer from a whole host of toxic relationships. For example: Judy has a mother who makes little "suggestions" every time she visits: Judy's house isn't clean enough, her children aren't dressed warmly enough, she doesn't brown her chicken well enough, she isn't a good enough wife, and—oh, by the way—did she gain a few pounds recently? Judy tries to ignore her mother's comments; she's used to them, having grown up with criticism all her life and besides, her mother is getting older—she doesn't want to hurt her feelings. Judy also works for a boss who constantly demands more of her than anyone else in the department. She is often asked to work late, her reports aren't quite up-to-snuff, and she doesn't take enough initiative. Judy rationalizes that her boss is a creative genius and like all geniuses, he's a bit eccentric. Judy has kids who treat her like a maid, taxi driver, and ATM but you know kids these days—they all have an attitude; it's just part of growing up. She also has girlfriends who betray the confidences she shares and a husband who often "kids around" with her by making caustic remarks about her appearance and libido. Does any of this sound familiar? So, how can you find new, healthier ways of being? According to Dr. Jill the first step is to recognize the signs of a destructive relationship. They can be verbally abusive, which may include name-calling, critical comments, threats, or lies. They may be emotionally abusive, which include such behaviors as humiliation in public or private; demeaning one in order to make them feel small and weak or "less than;" being jealous, possessive, or controlling; intimidation; demanding to know where one is at all times or using interrogation techniques; blaming someone else for difficulties or disappointments; being a "user." Sexually abusive behaviors include sexual harassment or discrimination (on the job, for example); sexual coercion or assault; or being sexually demanding. Physical abuse involves such behaviors as pushing, striking, choking, restraining, or not letting one leave a room. The next step in ridding yourself of destructive relationships is to figure out what brought you to them and why you remain. Dr. Jill believes that people act the way they do because they get a "payoff" for their behavior. Before you extricate yourself from a destructive relationship, you must decide if the cost is dearer than the payoff you have received. These relationships often cost you your self-respect, your happiness, your integrity, your sense of gratitude, and your spirit. Learning to stand up for yourself is a critical part of creating healthy relationships. In her book Destructive Relationships, Dr. Jill provides strategies to: **overcome the need to people-please **uproot poor self-esteem and reclaim your power **identify your fears and banish them through positive steps **let go of shame and guilt, thereby eliminating the need to keep secrets **establish boundaries **free yourself from no-win coping behaviors such as denial, minimizing, shopping, overeating, compulsive sex, drug or alcohol use. The point is to realize that you deserve to be happy and to set and maintain boundaries wi
The Wisdom On ... series is a collection of short books making practical application of wisdom literature and other Scripture on a variety of topics facing students. The series is designed to help students apply biblical principals of wisdom to everyday circumstances. Each book is a collection of case studies, key Scriptures, interactive activities, and helpful insights to assist teenagers in their growth of wisdom.
A woman’s experience as a mother is influenced by the mothering she received as a child. If neglect was a part of that upbringing, the woman who holds a newborn and faces the responsibility of parenting needs a healthy vision of motherhood. T. Suzanne Eller compassionately discusses how a woman can turn from a painful past and embrace a godly example of motherhood. She shares how shattered legacies can be put back together the path to restoring the broken image of motherhood ways to let go and embrace a new story This is a celebration of God’s healing power and how all women can become the mom they want to be.
A delightfully inspiring, enlightening, and sometimes humorous compilation of channelings by the Guides in Spirit, who provide practical guidance to navigate one of the most desired, and often most challenging, area of life.
Relationships are fundamental in the race of life; they can easily be the making or conversely the breaking of any man. All seem to agree that, "no man is an island", however the solution is also often the problem, for the mismanagement of these relationships can negatively impact one’s destiny. Many are living frustrated lives because of mismanaged relationships. Have you not realized that even blessings, when they are abused, yield the results of curses? And it has been discovered that abuse is inevitable where purpose is not known. Pastor Adesina in this insightful study, expatiates on the nature, purpose and modes of operation of the different types of relationships, and with practical steps, he places in one’s hands the tools necessary to enjoy a healthy relationship with all. It is possible… discover how.
Once upon a time, Martians and Venusians functioned in separate worlds. But in today's hectic and career-oriented environment, relationships have become a lot more complicated, and men and women are experiencing unprecedented levels of stress. To add to the increasing tension, most men and women are also completely unaware that they are actually hardwired to react differently to the stress. It's a common scenario: a husband returns home from work stressed out and eager to kick back on the couch and watch television. A wife returns home from work stressed out and wants to talk about it with her husband. What happens? Neither is on the same page, anger and resentment set in, and Mars and Venus collide. Using his signature insight that has helped millions of couples transform their relationships, John Gray once again arms the inhabitants of Mars and Venus with information that will help them live harmoniously ever after. In Why Mars and Venus Collide, Gray focuses on the ways that men and women misinterpret and mismanage the stress in their daily lives, and how these reactions ultimately affect their relationships. "It's not that he's just not into you; he needs to fulfill a biological need," Gray explains. "And it's not that she wants to henpeck you; she also has a biological drive." He shows, for instance, how a husband's withdrawal is actually a natural way for him to replenish his depleted testosterone levels and restore his well-being, and how a woman's need for conversation and support helps her build her own stress-reducing hormone, oxytocin. Backed up by groundbreaking scientific research, Gray offers a clear, easy-to-understand program to bridge the gap between the two planets, providing effective communication strategies that will actually lower stress levels. Whether in a relationship or single, this book will help both men and women understand their new roles in a modern, work-oriented society, and allow them to discover a variety of new and practical ways to create a lifetime of love and harmony.
Buy this groundbreaking book... Then follow the steps and never eat lunch alone again!
Dr. Tim Seiler, Dir., Public Service/The Fundraising School, Center on Philanthropy at Indiana Univ.
This learning novel reveals the secrets and how-to's that turn boards and supporters into legions of powerful mission partners. Imagine having more influential, well-connected volunteers on your fundraising team. Imagine generating millions without spending a ton of extra time, money or making big changes. Follow the story of Oscar, an Exec. Dir. who tries everything to move his organization to the next level. Oscar could easily raise a lot more money and get more of what he wants. He's smart, works hard and is deeply ommitted.
There's one thing stopping him: Oscar can't build strong relationships with enough of the right people He thought he knew all about relationships - until things took a downturn. He needed answers quickly and discovered the secrets to more powerful partnerships. Now, his organization and his life are on the upswing.
Reviewers say
This little book is full of golden nuggets that make a big difference, exceptionally beneficial for the seasoned veteran and the novice fundraiser. In a few hours, read this fast-paced story and learn the how-to's of power relationships. Most fun I have ever had being trained, captured my heart, then my mind.
Tim Reese, Exec. Dir., Cal-Nev Community Action Partnership
Made me re-think the way I do things, gave me the how-to's. It is required reading in our fundraising courses.
Dr. Matthew Jendian, Ph.D., Amer. Humanics, CSU Fresno
I found this a transforming book. Highly recommended.
Gary B. Grant, Dir. Major Gifts, National Alzheimers Association
Food for the Gods. Kudos for removing the mystique.
DeNelle Ellison, Dir. Fund Development, Sacramento Urban League
If you don't have the chance to hear Marshall speak, make this your relationship-building Bible.
Bob Olson, VP, Medical Foundation
Seal Press originally published Helping Her Get Free with the title To Be an Anchor in the Storm. The survivor of an abusive relationship herself and a licensed counselor of abused women for more than a decade, Susan Brewster teaches readers how to recognize the signs of abuse, handle negative feelings, become an effective advocate, deal with the abuser, and more. With a new introduction and updated resource section, this straightforward and compassionate book offers the information needed to help give strength to women who are trying to break free.
Discover a practical, nuanced way to read character from the face. Rose Rosetree has pioneered the system of Face Reading Secrets(R). She is known as the mother of American physiognomy, adapting the 5,000-year-old art of Face Reading with contemporary appreciation of free will.Lavishly illustrated, this book trains your eye to read the secrets.; You'll find this how-to entertaining and easy to read. Yet you'll find depth and amazing, accurate insights as well.
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