"If you really loved me..." "After all I've done for you..." "How can you be so selfish..." Do any of the above sound familiar? They're all examples of emotional blackmail, a powerful form of manipulation in which people close to us threaten to punish us for not doing what they want. Emotional blackmailers know how much we value our relationships with them. They know our vulnerabilities and our deepest secrets. They are our mothers, our partners, our bosses and coworkers, our friends and our lovers. And no matter how much they care about us, they use this intimate knowledge to give themselves the payoff they want: our compliance. Susan Forward knows what pushes our hot buttons. Just as John Gray illuminates the communications gap between the sexes in Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, and Harriet Lerner describes an intricate dynamic in The Dance of Anger, so Susan Forward presents the anatomy of a relationship damaged by manipulation, and gives readers an arsenal of tools to fight back. In her clear, no-nonsense style, Forward provides powerful, practical strategies for blackmail targets, including checklists, practice scenarios and concrete communications techniques that will strengthen relationships and break the blackmail cycle for good.
This book is a comprehensive guide to recognizing and dealing with domestic abuse and violence. It outlines the different types and stages of abuse, and provides information on how to change such relationships or escape from them.
Winner of four national book awards, including Foreword Magazine's Psychology Book of the Year! The science has been clear since 1994, when Adult AD/HD was declared a medical diagnosis. Still, the public harbors misconceptions, and that means millions suffer needlessly. And that includes millions of couples who can't understand why their lives together are so hard -- sometimes despite many attempts at couples therapy. Everyone knows someone with adult AD/HD. Yet we misattribute the symptoms to anxiety, depression, or even laziness, selfishness, or moodiness. Moreover, we assume AD/HD means "little boys with ants in their pants." In fact, childhood hyperactivity goes "underground" as the person matures, resulting in a mentally restless state. (By the way, the former, and still better-known, official term is ADD, plus or minus Hyperactivity. The new term, AD/HD, uses a slash mark to indicate that hyperactivity is not central to the diagnosis.) Meticulously researched by award-winning journalist Gina Pera, Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.? is a comprehensive guide to recognizing the behaviors where you least expect them (on the road and in the bedroom, for example) and developing compassion for couples wrestling with unrecognized ADHD symptoms. It also offers the latest information from top experts, plenty of real-life details, and easy-to-understand guidelines for finding the best treatment options and practical solutions. The revolutionary message is one of hope for millions of people--and a joyous opportunity for a better life. Insightful, helpful, witty, and very practical. This book can change your life.--Daniel G. Amen, M.D., author of Change Your Brain, Change Your Life ... contains information that is just not available anywhere else. This book is sure to become the authoritative guide for couples dealing with ADD.--Patricia O. Quinn, M.D., Director, The National Center for Girls and Women with ADHD ...We expect this book will be the bible for all of us dealing with adult ADD.-- Elizabeth Weathers and Diane Hartson, moderators, ADD Spouse support group... I can safely predict it will become as much an 'industry standard' as Driven to Distraction. --David Edelberg, M.D., Medical Director, WholeHealth Chicago... The book is well researched, reader friendly, and includes insights and perspectives from a Who's Who of professionals. For couples struggling with ADHD, it's the season's new must-have book and bound to become a classic.--Michele Novotni, Ph.D. Psychologist, Coach Confirmatory brain neuroscience answers this speculation about Adult ADHD: It s a real problem with real and painful challenges, not a belief system.-- Charles Parker, DO, Medical Director, CorePsych, author of Deep Recovery ... Gina Pera has combined a real feel for the disorder with sound reporting skills and the spice of those who tell the story best: the couples themselves.-- Margaret D. Weiss, M.D., Ph.D., Head, Provincial ADHD Program, British Columbia, Canada ... Gina Pera has been there and has authored a guide that offers understanding for the confused, practical strategies for the frustrated, and hope for the despondent. This book will be a lifesaver for both partners.-- Ari Tuckman, Psy.D., M.B.A., author of Integrative Treatment for Adult ADHD
Grow in intimacy with God through in-depth Bible study. Women of Faith, renowned for its unique combination of personality and truth, offers fresh new messages in four new topical study guides in the popular Women of Faith Study Guide Series. Each study guide, teeming with insights and quotes from the conference speakers, provides 12 weeks of Bible study and a leader's guide for small groups. Friendship: Cultivating Relationships that Enrich Our Lives uses Scripture to address issues such as: How to have fulfilling friendships with some humor and fun Building lasting and fulfilling friendships Choosing the right kinds of friends Learning to be vulnerable and honest to maximize intimacy How to move past the superficial to spiritually bonded friendships
This volume deals with a fundamental issue that all clinicians face at some time or other: the therapeutic impasse. What should you do when sessions with a client seem hopelessly mired, or when the client feels that you have done something so egregious that therapy goes awry? How about an abrupt rupture: when you find the angry or hostile feelings directed toward you to be so intolerable that you decide to terminate?Based on years of clinical and consultation work, Sue Nathanson Elkind presents a theoretical framework for understanding and working with the relational knots that occur between therapists and their patients. Asserting that such episodes are unavoidable pivotal events in therapeutic relationships, she provides a map of the wide range of predicaments that can arise, including:* Mismatches between therapist and patient* Stalemates resulting from patient-therapist collusion* Irreconcilable conflicts or power struggles* Breaches in the attachment bond* Untimely terminationsElkind demonstrates how patients and therapists function as relational partners. Without blame and with compassion for inevitable difficulties, she describes how impasses arise when these partnerships become rigid, operate outside of conscious awareness, or when the vulnerabilities and defenses of the patient and the therapist intersect in problematic ways. Her concepts of primary vulnerabilities and relational modes benefit both parties: Rather than automatically pathologizing the patient, they empower the patient and humanize the therapist by recognizing normal human limitations. The final section of the book presents an in-depth discussion of a form of consultation for therapeutic impasses that may include both the patient and the therapist. Demonstrating how both may suffer when the therapeutic dyads function in isolation, Elkind advocates setting up a relational network through the presence of a consultant. Vignettes of actual consultations of this type for a wide range of problems illustrate how such consultations work, what functions they can serve, and what their limitations are. Featuring stories that often are not told because of the feelings of shame and failure that arise for therapists and patients caught in therapeutic impasses, this book is compelling reading. It fills a gap in the literature by comprehensively addressing a common, but rarely discussed, aspect of the profession. As such, it is an important volume for both experienced and novice clinicians regardless of theoretical persuasion. Bringing theoretical issues to life through its clinical vignettes, it also serves as an excellent text for graduate and postgraduate courses in psychology, counseling, psychiatry, and psychiatric social work.
He’s Just No Good for You is for all women who have found themselves wondering if the “great” guy others see at their side is in fact not so great—or worse.
“A classic.” —William H. Masters, MD Passionate Marriage is recognized as the pioneering book on intimate human relationships. With a new preface by the author, this updated edition explores the ways we can keep passion alive and even reach the height of sexual and emotional fulfillment later in life. David Schnarch accompanies his inspirational message of attaining long-term happiness with proven techniques developed in worldwide workshops to help couples develop greater intimacy. Chapters provide the scaffolding for overcoming sexual and emotional roadblocks— from evaluating personal expectations to laying the groundwork for keeping the sparks alive years down the road, and everything in between. This book is sure to help couples overcome hurdles in their relationships and reach the fullest potential in their love lives. .
Ever wonder what makes us feel and act like we do, especially in our most important relationships? Why is it so hard to connect or even get along with those who mean the most to us? The answer lies in the profound effect of a child's bonding process with his or her parents. How successfully we form and maintain relationships throughout life is related to these early issues of attachment. In this transformational book, the authors have used ground-breaking research to develop four primary patterns of relating that shed light on our actions - and how we can learn to love and be loved even better.
"Long distance relationships never work!" If you’re in a long distance relationship (LDR) you’ve probably heard this before. Between 2 and 3 million couples in the United States consider themselves "long distance," not including the hundreds of thousands of military personnel stationed overseas. Despite these statistics, couples in geographically separated relationships have had few resources to help them through the unique difficulties that come from living apart. Finally, after a decade in the making, Long Distance Relationships: The Complete Guide fills this gap. Based on groundbreaking research, Long Distance Relationships teaches the little-known but critical secrets to a happy and healthy long distance relationship (LDR). Unlike the handful of other books on LDRs, Long Distance Relationships is based on extensive research, is thoroughly referenced and indexed, and provides specific guidance for separated couples from a noted expert in the field. Long distance relationships do work. But to be successful you must understand how they differ from other relationships, and you must learn new strategies proven to make a difference. Long Distance Relationships is the first work to comprehensively review, cite, and discuss five decades of research on separated relationships. Unlike the handful of other books on the topic, Long Distance Relationships includes: · An extensive annotated bibliography of more than 80 studies, articles, and resources for separated couples – including a specific resource guide for college students · A comprehensive reference section with over 170 citations · A complete index · Suggestions for those in long distance relationships that are based on research, rather than opinion, and include citations to specific studies Long Distance Relationships is a unique and indispensable reference for the millions of couples in long distance relationships. Couples who read Long Distance Relationships: The Complete Guide will find: · 22 Chapters of proven strategies for building and maintaining a successful relationship when you have to be apart. · The Separation Inventory – a questionnaire for those in LDRs that pinpoints areas of their relationship that may need attention, and then provides specific solutions. (p. 11-27) · Over 60 highlighted survival tips. · Quotes from dozens of couples in LDRs who discuss their own difficulties and how they overcame them. · The 10 steps research has shown will help couples stay emotionally healthy while apart. (p. 78) · Statistics describing hundreds of other couples in LDRs. (p. 97) · Five steps to great telephone sex. (p. 122) · How to use erotic letters, videotapes, audiotapes, instant cameras, and the internet to spice up your sex life while apart. (p. 124) · Six tips to making "goodbyes" easier. (p. 128) · Six tips for making reunions even better. (p. 132) · How to deal with conflict over the telephone – the six things you must do. (p. 138) · The six important steps for when you have to talk about the relationship but don’t want to spoil your time together. (p. 144) · Why men and women see the separation very differently, and why you should care. (p. 160) · Six critical steps for when you finally get to move closer to one another – reunion may be the riskiest time for an LDR. (p. 169). · An annotated bibliography of resources for your LDR, reviewing more than 80 books, stories, and articles on couples in separated relationships. (p. 173) · A listing of useful websites for those in LDRs (p. 184) · A reference section that lists all of the more than 175 studies, books, and resources discussed in the text (p. 201) With the release of Dr. Guldner’s Long Distance Relationships there is only one clear expert in the field and only one definitive guide for separated couples.
28 pages of full color photos containing 365 creative and romantic activities long distance couples can use to help strengthen their relationships while they are apart.
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