Relationships Matter

"He doesn't mean to hurt me-he just loses control."
"He can be sweet and gentle."
"He's scared me a few times, but he never hurts the children-he's a great father."
"He's had a really hard life..."

Women in abusive relationships tell themselves these things every day. Now they can see inside the minds of angry and controlling men-and change their own lives. In this groundbreaking book, a counselor shows how to improve, survive, or leave an abusive relationship, with:

€ The early warning signs
€ Nine abusive personality types
€ How to tell if an abuser can change, is changing, or ever will
€ The role of drugs and alcohol
€ What can be fixed, and what can't
€ How to leave a relationship safely

User Reviews about Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

If you're reading this review then you are in the same place I was about two months ago. In a lot of doubt about why I was unhappy in my relationship. Why, while my boyfriend was so charming to the outside world, I was incapable of explaining why I was uncomfortable at home most of the time, and sometimes anxious or scared - you know of what. Of him, and how he might react, and what he might say, or how long he might give me the silent treatment, that kind of things.
But I was working so hard at keeping him content, he hardly got mad at me any more, so what was I so afraid of?
That's when I had an eye opener... Why did I think of my relationship as a place where I was working hard to keep him content? Why weren't we, instead, working together at making the relationship work?
I won't tell my personal story in any more details, but let me say this: I went on the Internet and read an incredible amount of advice, stuff that was sometimes helpful, sometimes hurtful, but nothing helped like this book.
Quit thinking that he is insane, has a mental problem, or cannot control his behaviour when he is around you, because none of that is true, and that book will show it to you, very simply.
Quit thinking that the problem lies, even partially, with you. You are not perfect, neither am I. But there is arguing about things you disagree on with your partner, and there is shutting your mouth, or turning something you want to say in your head a hundred times to find a way that might not set him off so much. And there is him turning your reasonable request around on its head and then backwards so that the next thing you know, you don't even know why you voiced it in the first place because you sound, and feel, like a crazy person.
And quit thinking that your hard work will make it any better, because it will not. If anything you need to reassert yourself and not let a single sneer go without pointing out. Or if you are in a dangerous relationship, you need to go and protect yourself as soon as possible.
This book will help you stop thinking you are going crazy, and that only was tremendous help to me. Read it please. -- You absolutely have to read this

The only thing I can say, honestly: This book saved my life. Seriously. -- Great book!

Worth while reading can open your eyes to why things happen. Would recommend anyone struggling with what did I do that made he made him react that way. -- WHY DOES HE DO THAT?

After leaving an abusive relationship I spent much time pondering what I had done wrong, blaming myself and my inadequacies, and what I should have done to make to prevent the abuse. He was charming and everyone liked him, so I thought it must have been me.

This book described my ex-partner in eerie detail, as well as a number of situations I had been in. The information was clear, backed up with appropriate examples, and the author was honest in his perceptions and how they had changed over time.

It helped me realise whose problem it really is, why it was never going to get better, how unlikely it was that he was going to change, and how to see through the 'hearts and flowers' stage. And, more importantly, how lucky I am to be free from the abuse.

-- Informative and helpful

This book has saved my sanity. It's helped me to see what was wrong with my marriage and gave me the courage to confront my abusive mate. I strongly recommend this book to any woman who suspects she is in an abusive relationship and is not sure what is going on that makes her feel so bad. It is an absolute wealth of information. Thank you Lundy for sharing your knowledge!! -- WOW what a read!! It saved my sanity!!