Relationships Matter

Drawing from his own experience and the lives of some of the world’s great writers and poets, David Whyte brings compelling insights to our three most important commitments— to another, to our work, and to ourselves—to frame a complete picture of a satisfying life.

David Whyte knows there are three crucial relationships, or marriages, in our lives: the marriage or partnership with a significant other, the commitment we have to our work, and the vows, spoken or unspoken, we make to an inner, constantly developing self. In The Three Marriages, the bestselling author, poet, and speaker argues that it is not possible to sacrifice one relationship for the others without causing deep psychological damage. Too often, he says, we fracture our lives and split our energies foolishly, so that one or more of these marriages is sacrificed and may wither and die, in the process impoverishing them all. Whyte looks to a different way of seeing and connecting these relationships and prompts us to examine each marriage with a fierce but affectionate eye as he shows us the importance of cherishing all three equally.

Drawing from his own struggles to achieve this goal as well as exploring the lives of some of the world’s great writers and activists—from Dante to Joan of Arc, from Austen to Dickinson—Whyte reveals that our core commitments are irrevocably connected. Only by understanding the simultaneously robust and delicate nature of the three marriages and the stages of their maturation, he maintains, can we create a real portrait of what makes us tick and a real sense of finding a place in the world.

In prose that’s at once lyrical and inviting, Whyte investigates captivating ideas for bringing a deeper satisfaction to our lives, one that goes beyond our previously held ideas of balance.

User Reviews about The Three Marriages: Reimagining Work - Self and Relationship

David posits that we have three very important marriages in our lives: marriage to a partner, our marriage to our work, and that ultimate marriage we should be having with ourselves. He says these things are so closely tied to who we are, that we must look at all three. (probably OFTEN.) He also says we can't expect a perfect balance, and explains why that just doesn't work in the real world. (what a relief!)

I downloaded the audio version and listened to it twice. He addressed so many important areas, using wonderful stories and poems, that finally, after listening to it twice, I ordered a copy of the book so I could highlight all the good stuff I wanted to remember. I'm a happy camper. -- Some Pretty Terrific Stuff Here!

David Whyte's The Three Marriages: Reimagining Work, Self and Relationship is insightful and useful. I'm struggling in a doctoral seminar with students who are overburdened, stressed-out, and occasionally melting down. I've recommended Whyte's Three Marriages to help them gain perspective on this everyperson's tri-focal balance challenge. Whyte's experience and his examples are really supportive of his argument. Overwhelmed professionals and doc students really need a catalytic reason to take a deep breath and reconsider life priorities and how they are so intricately interwoven. David Whyte's book helps. In addition he uses language like the poet he is and this not only guides his point home but guides it beautifully.
Leonard L. LaPointe, PhD
Francis Eppes Distinguished Professor of Communication Science & Disorders
Florida State University
Tallahassee, FL USA 32306-1200 -- No divorces

The Three Marriages is an easy read and worthwhile. Not as worthwhile as the title might imply, but worthwhile. It has some good illustrations about committment and some untentional (unbeknownst to the author) illustrations about not-quite-so-completed committments. The idea is that people can be (and need to be) loyal and completely committed to more than one thing and/or person at the same time, and do not need to slight one for the other.

Someone made a comment about a political speech that it was, "A corporal of thought accompanied by an army of words." This book illustrates something to the converse. It is a king of thought accompained by an inadequate army.

It should be read, as Sir Francis Bacon might be paraphrased, "Not for argument, but to consider." -- The Three Marriages

David Whyte weaves the stories of Dante and Beatrice,Robert Louis Stevenson,Jane Austen and others to illustrate the interconnections of relationship with self, work and marriage. I used to think these worlds were separately spinning spheres but each is informed by the other with the relationship with self providing the clarity for the others. Whyte takes the idea of work life balance and turns it on its head to get us to someplace where we understand connection. It can be dense to read at times but he has done a great job of breaking the book up into chapters, sections and reviews at the end of chapters to capture the salient points.
I highly recommend the book to gain insight into personal relationships(I was wondering why I was stuck in a lousy job and a lousy relationship), to discuss as a work group or to discover with a loved one.It would also be a great book group discussion.
Also discover (or rediscover) how poetry can put into words these complexities, particulalry David Whyte's poetry which can be found in other of his books. -- The Three Marriages

David Whyte's THE THREE MARRIAGES: REIMAGINING WORK, SELF AND RELATIONSHIP is read by the author and provides a pointed discussion of how to bring balance and a deeper satisfaction to life. Rethinking work, partnership and inner self is part of the formula: the focus on 'secret vows' made between all make for an involving survey.
-- Provides a pointed discussion of how to bring balance and a deeper satisfaction to life