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User Reviews about The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion: Freeing Yourself from Destructive Thoughts and Emotions

This book is filled with important insights. But it's as if the author wrote each idea on a card and then shuffled them randomly. Voila! The book doesn't unfold with any particular structure that I can see. It's more like a grab-bag of this and that--gray sidebars with nearly useless research teases interspersed with "TRY THIS..." exercises. I had to put it down just to calm my mind. The market is flooded with books on mindfulness. You can do so much better than this, starting with Tara Brach's "Radical Acceptance" or Mark Williams, et al "The Mindful Way Through Depression." These books take you on coherent and powerful journeys rather than bombarding you with stuff. -- every page screams "self-help!"

I have always been interested in self reflection and using psychotherapy as a way to acheive personal growth. I have also been very interested in learning to meditate and have been searching for suggestions from those who have found success. This book combines the two seamlessly! I found it easy to ready and extremely informative. I will refer back to this often as I continue on my path toward personal and spiritual growth. -- Exactly what I was looking for

I perhaps picked this book up for the wrong reason. I don't (usually) have a problem with self-compassion. But I like to read books that discuss mindfulness because they invariably give me a sense of peace AS I READ. Germer's book had the opposite effect on me, creating in me a feeling of sheer drudgery and anxiousness to hurry up and get through it.

I'm sure he means well, but he has 80 pages of the most mindfulness-preventing description of how to attain mindfulness that I can imagine. I say mindfulness-preventing because it is hard to imagine a writing style less likely to get you in the mindfulness mood. He approaches mindfulness like a boss with a stopwatch: This many minutes breathing like this, this many minutes feeling your body like this, this many minutes labeling your emotions like this . . .

A much better discussion of mindfulness is in Peace is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh (and it's probably covered in just a few pages if I remember correctly). You'll feel mindful and at peace right as you're reading the entire book, which covers so much more. Also, for that peace-as-you're reading feeling, try Wherever You Go, There You Are by Kabat-Zinn or It's Easier Than You Think: The Buddhist Way To Happiness, by Sylvia Boorstein.

The self-compassion aspect of Germer's book is also covered by books on Buddhism (which is perhaps why I didn't need this book to tell me about it). Loving-kindness, as Germer states in this book, includes having loving-kindness toward yourself as well as others, so again, you might as well read the Thich Nhat Hanh book because it covers so much more in so very many fewer words.

Germer's book obviously works for some readers (it got lots of five star reviews), but it didn't work for me.
-- Almost guaranteed to prevent mindfulness

This book has brought me so many answers as to how to cope with day to day living, they're beyond counting. When I get to the end, I start over and begin again. I'm reading it for the third time and the pages are wrinkly from all the highlighting. :-) You don't have to be religious to benefit, and you can also benefit if you ARE religious - because it's not about religion, it's about living centered and sane. I'm really getting in touch with the reality that when I'm centered and sane within, my external world gets more centered and sane. Maybe the world hasn't changed at all but I'm simply seeing it differently - that's OK with me, all I know is that I feel better.

If there's something you're having trouble coping with, or if you just have this undercurrent of feeling a little nuts all the time, check this out. And keep a highlighter handy.
-- Awesome. No other word for it.

"Meditation practice isn't about trying to throw ourselves away or become something better. It's about befriending who we are already." - Pema Chodron

How do we subvert our deeply conditioned tendencies towards self-criticism? In this competitive, stressful society, we are easily thrown into competition with ourselves - fighting desperately to eradicate the more vulnerable parts of ourselves and cultivate the qualities, experiences and possessions that we think will help us get ahead. In this struggle, we often lose touch with the capacity to have compassion for our plight, one that is shared by everyone. In The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion, psychologist Christopher K. Germer offers a way out of this often demoralizing battle. In the introduction, Germer calls this an "un-self-help book." In many ways, the methods of befriending difficult emotions and practicing compassion could directly neutralize what sends many of us to the self-help section of the bookstore. This book presents an engaging, friendly guide to navigating this often very subtle, tricky work.

The book is divided into three parts. Part I (Discovering Self-Compassion) is a general introduction to mindfulness meditation and the concept of self-compassion. Customers may have noticed this book is similar in title to another from the same publisher: The Mindful Way through Depression. I've read that book (which actually has helped me prevent a relapse of depression for two years now) and, indeed, both books present much the same material in much the same manner. Both feature mindfulness of the breath, body and sound. Part II (Practicing Loving-Kindness) is where the two books depart. Whereas the authors of TMWTD incorporates modern cognitive behavioral therapy to transform self-defeating habits, Germer introduces the ancient technique of metta (loving-kindness) meditation.

Germer's meditation instructions are often quite poetic (such as observing bodily sensations "like a mother staring at a newborn baby, wondering what it's feeling"). In Part III (Customizing Self-Compassion), he offers ways to balance compassion for oneself as well as others. What I appreciate about Germer's approach is that it is so eclectic. For instance, like other books on meditation, he has the reader label emotions. However, unlike other books on meditation, Germer provides an extensive list of emotion words compiled by computer linguist Stephen DeRose. He also includes things like a list of "schemas" (patterns of habitual thoughts/feelings) from psychologist Jeffrey Young and an interesting set of {personality types" that might help customize the practice to your own particular idiosyncracies. All of this is in addition to page after page of stories from his own life and practice, fascinating studies from the fields of neuroscience and psychology, as well as poetry and cartoons.

Germer surprised me with his understanding of Buddhism. His incorporation of the Buddha's words is sometimes so subtle and natural it's easily missed. For example, in his introduction, Germer writes: "No matter how hard we try to avoid emotional pain, it follows us everywhere. Difficult emotions--shame, anger, loneliness, fear, despair, confusion--arrive like clockwork at our door. They come when things don't go according to our expectations, when we're separated from loved ones, and as a part of ordinary sickness, old age, and death. It's just not possible to avoid feeling bad." Those familiar with Buddhism will recognize this as a modern reworking of the First Noble Truth (particularly its iteration in the Dhammacakkappavattana Sutta -- the Buddha's first sermon). His explanations of rather difficult Buddhist concepts such as not-self and interdependence demonstrate a nuanced understanding.

You don't have to be a Buddhist to benefit from this book. In fact, Germer includes a centering meditation found in a Trappist (Christian) monastery, I poem from the Sufi poet Rumi, as well as discussion of prayer. Germer's book would benefit anyone struggling with feelings of inadequacy, shame, anxiety or anger, and comes at a time when the synthesis of modern science and ancient wisdom are blossoming. Also recommended is British psychologist Paul Gilbert's excellent The Compassionate Mind, which discusses the practice of compassion in a larger evolutionary framework. -- An "Un-Self-Help" Book: An Excellent Guide to Befriending Yourself