Relationships Matter

This book goes beyond the nature and nurture divisions that traditionally have constrained much of our thinking about development, exploring the role of interpersonal relationships in forging key connections in the brain. Daniel J. Siegel presents a groundbreaking new way of thinking about the emergence of the human mind and the process by which each of us becomes a feeling, thinking, remembering individual. Illuminating how and why neurobiology matters, this book is essential reading for clinicians, educators, researchers, and students interested in human experience and development across the life span

User Reviews about The Developing Mind: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are

An understanding mind is a matter of recognition.

Moments of one's mental states are deserving of conscious awareness.
Making of a mind is achieved the participation of two people, particularly a parent.
A mind is created as another mind presents itself or presents an absence at particular instances two minds meet.

Mental states are constructed concepts giving rise to mayhem or order.
Each form extends either the expression of knowing or not knowing.
The reasons are vast for either.
Either mental bedlam or harmonious array, and between either are degrees of thought and emotion, builds the perception, the position, one senses in relation to others.

By your mindfully reading this book you might experience increasing awareness of knowing.
For me, the book's subject matter is consulted regularly.
Paragraphs are annotated; whole pages paraphrased; its reference, researched.
Its passages are pondered repeatedly.

After all, the content of this book deserves an inquiring mind's re-cognition.
-- Content of Recognition.

Let me preface my review by stating that I have read this book for a neuroscience course, and although I have a tentative grasp of the subject I am by no means a professional, thus my interpretation of the book may be slightly biased. That being said, I will now discuss my opinions on The Developing Mind, by first giving a rough overview of the content, and then my opinions on how the author conveyed it.

This book thoroughly covers many aspect of the brain and how the mind develops as it ages and interacts with its environment. It begins by giving a basic introduction into the subject in the first chapter which can largely be glossed over by those familiar with the subject matter. The next few chapters, Memory, Attachment, and Emotion, establish the foundation of the author's ideas, and enhance the reader's understanding of how the brain works. In Memory, the author describes what memory is (as apposed to what people commonly describe as memory), and describes that two types of memory exist: implicit and explicit. Implicit memory is defined as memories that are not actively recalled, but rather emotions and associations involved with certain events that we are not conscious of, whereas explicit memory is the conscious act of remembering facts and experiences. He then goes on to describe how these memories form and how they impact the early developing brain. In Attachment, he describes the relationship formed between parent and child in terms of their attachment, and how important this is in later year, with the role that attachment plays in certain stress responses and attachments later in life. Emotion is about our emotions, how we feel them, both consciously and not, and how these emotions tie into our development and responses to situations. A decent portion of this chapter is also devoted to how emotions and the perception of emotions influence how we respond in social situations and affect our relationships.

The later chapters of the book, Representations, States of Mind, Self-Regulation, Interpersonal Connection, and Integration, are the `structure' of the book, tying the previous foundation chapters together and delving into more complex maters of mind and relationships interact, presenting the authors ideas on more advanced mental development. In Representations he talks about how the mind makes complex ideas and information, such as concepts, into symbols, or representations, and how the mind places value on these representations. He also discusses the difference between the right and left hemispheres of the brain and their importance in mental development and associations. States of Mind is about just that, how they are organized, and how changes in state of mind influence the mind. Self-Regulation is about how the brain regulates its own behavior and regulates emotion in its reception and expression of emotions. Interpersonal Connections is where the author discusses how early relationships affect future relationships and emotional regulation and how trauma can affect relationships. The final chapter, Integration, discusses how the brain integrates many processes, such as experience, emotion, and how all of these processes come together to form the mind and sense of self.

Now I will discuss some of the things that I think stood out about this book. Earlier I stated that the author wrote thoroughly on the subject material and the information is quite thorough. I think the author explained what was necessary to understand the idea, and then kept on going. He covers each topic with a lot of extraneous information that is more than necessary to convey the concepts he wishes to, so much so that it is easy to get lost in the details. He also restates certain concepts or ideas more than once, which gave me the feeling that he was saying the same thing over and over again. His overly verbose manner of discussing some of the (relatively) simple concepts in the book definitely makes the book harder to follow for the non-technical reader and make it more difficult to fully digest his more important points. At the author's own admission, the books subject material can be difficult to digest for the lay-person, and he would strive to use simple language in order to make the book concise and clear. This is hardly the case; even from the first chapter I knew I was in for a long haul, as his `basic' introduction the subject was fairly in depth. Between the repetition of ideas and overly-complicated explanations I felt like the book was dragging on, being unnecessarily long.

Despite these negative qualities the book was very interesting. A lot of the author's thoughts on how emotions and early development impact later behaviors I found especially interesting, and his approach to a combined nature-nurture approach to be a more logical than a nature versus nurture approach. His coverage of the subject matter is very comprehensive, and a lot of it was new to me. Although somewhat difficult to digest at times, he more than adequately explains all of his connections and associations.

Do I ultimately recommend this book? Yes, but with a few caveats. Like most books of a more technical nature, this book is a bit `dry' and does seem to drag on, but ultimately interesting despite that if these qualities doesn't turn you away from it. I think this book is perfect for people interested in the field and have some idea of what they are getting into, as well as some basic understanding of how the brain works. I do not recommend this book for the lay-person, as it is very comprehensive and perhaps a bit much for the lay-person to digest, and despite its relevance, would probably be of little use to them.
-- Comprehensive, thorough, and a little too much.

This informative book is a must read for all those seeking to understand attachment research in biological context. Daniel J. Siegel profound yet easily accessible exposition of human developmental processes will appeal to anyone who desire for greater understanding of lifelong impact of early experience. -- Attachment Research

Had to read this book for my nurse practitioner class. It's a bit dense and not as readable as his newer book, but hey, one does what one has to do! -- Neuroscience

As a former teacher's aid and fosterparent of special needs children, this book is a must read. This is an educational revolution as doctors, surgeons and clinicians are finally able to write about what happens in the developing brain in ways that validate what many caregivers already know. This book is extremely useful for understanding the effects of neglect and abuse on children we care for daily. It clearly defines the further damage done to developing minds as they are repeatedly moved around within child welfare systems. Yet it is hopeful and shows the developing mind is resilient and can heal if given the chance.

This information should be MANDATORY reading for all social workers, family court judges and family lawyers who take control or are given guardianship over children's lives, placements and moves. Better yet, make a course based on it, please! -- Judges, Social Workers, Teachers, Caregivers...Must Read!