Relationships Matter

1. Stupid Secrets
Withholding important information for fear of rejection

2. Stupid Egotism
Asking not what you can do for the relationship but only what the relationship can do for you

3. Stupid Pettiness
Making a big deal out of the small stuff

4. Stupid Power
Always trying to be in control

5. Stupid Priorities
Consuming all your time and energies with work, hobbies, errands, and chores instead of focusing on your relationship

6. Stupid Happiness
Seeking stimulation and assurance from all the wrong places to satisfy the immature need to feel good

7. Stupid Excuses
Not being accountable for bad behavior

8. Stupid Liaisons
Not letting go of negative attachments to friends and relatives who are damaging to your relationship

9. Stupid Mismatch
Not knowing when to leave and cut your losses

10. Stupid Breakups
Disconnection for all the wrong reasons

User Reviews about Ten Stupid Things Couples Do to Mess Up Their Relationships

1. Love is a choice. A decision to honor and keep the vows, covenants, and promises made at marriage. Love understands the faults and follies and weaknesses of one another, accepts those deficiencies or realities, works to find solutions and breakthrough those realities (soul search, seek therapy, take risks, and spiritually develop), and enjoys newfound intimacy and affection - a new song. Millions can work through their problems with support from family, friends, and other individuals with shared interest.

2. Avoid secrets, they destroy trust and betray confidences. A secret is deceptive and a form of lying.

3. Emotions can be labile, vulnerable, situational, unpredictable, and without IQ. Compassion and empathy towards your spouse may not be the emotion of the day.

4. Most divorces are caused by materialism, a form of idol worship, a false religion. Materialism pulls man away from devotion to God and love for his fellow man. It is difficult to think of the well-being of you wife when you fascinated with the next ATV or tool. We love what we covet.

5. Married couples are healthier, happier, and wealthier.

6. Increasing attention one towards another is a great method to increase emotional feeling towards each other. Attention suggests importance. Importance is valuable. People like to feel valuable and wanted.

7. Save you devotion for your husband or wife. This technique helps avoid the pitfall of falling in love with another person, who is not your husband or wife. Run away from fantasy. "Stay clear"; time and distance are your friends. A powerful punch or kick can cause great damage, called Infidelity. Stay out of range. Preserve your commitment to your spouse and family.

8. Date the people you are considering eligible partners for marriage. You don't have time to waste. America is a rich culture, but time is a rare commodity. Use your time wisely, don't experiment, don't fantasize, go for the gold. Avoid men, who will not work, like the plague. A man must be willing to cross alligator infest swamps to keep you happy. That is the best choice. Avoid a slough-oriented man, as a piece of wisdom. Ask yourself, "Can I see this woman interacting wonderfully with my mother? Will she be kind, understanding, friendly, and helpful?" If the answer is no then dump her. It is not worth the risk.

9. Build integrity and character through hard work. Avoid self-abusive behavior and devaluing thoughts and actions. Avoid situations where misunderstandings and hurtful emotions could arise and unwanted children result, from inappropriate physical intimacy, before marriage. Sudden intimacy without commitment will bring immediate rejection and devaluation. Be loyal to yourself as a child of God. Remember, who loves you and focus on that vision. Everyone is worthy of being loved and capable of loving. Be a person with a open heart and wisdom.

10. Two thirds of divorces are initiated by women, often, over the notion of rights and happiness. The feminist movement has been devastating to families. Violence, drug and alcohol, neglect and abandonment, and promiscuous infidelity are not the primary reason for breakup in a marriage, now. The primary reason is philosophical. The liberation of women occurs when they become enlightened, the "Feminine Mystique". They leave seeking careers, education, and social freedom. The birthplace of women's rights and the destruction of family. Men have become wary of women, as result of this philosophy. Men and women don't want to be used.

11. Take accountability for your actions, your attitudes, and your expectations. You have the "Power" to determine your marriage and relationship to members in your family. It is a choice. Power to choose is divine. The power to act and not to be acted upon.

12. How does having babies out of wedlock with the concomitant problems of poverty, lack of father, and childcare elevate a woman's status?

13. Woman want to be loved, respected, have a loving husband, enjoy a family, and receive warmth from those they know. Men want to protect their family, provide for the needs of family members, and be respected and revered. Men and women want self-actualization. I believe self-actualization is seeing your children repeat successful parent skills learned from their parents. Generations of successful, healthy, and happy posterity is my definition of self-actualization.

14. Divorce starts with selfish attitudes about "what I deserve" and ME. Complaining starts about not having enough.

15. Don't tolerate disgusting, horrendous, destructive, immoral, cruel, stupid, and evil behavior. Don't use the phrase, "I love him" to justify tolerance of unacceptable behavior. Remember Eli in the Old Testament. Eli would not stop the immoral behavior of his two sons and as a result Israel rejected the Lord as King and select another king. Sad. Eli could have stood up to his sons, even if it meant losing his life. It would have been better for him rather than angering the Lord. -- Don't make the same mistake Eli did. Stand up for the right! Stand up for Justice.

Great book, Dr. Laura has a great no nonsense way of telling you like it is! -- Great Book

Good advice for problem marriages. Not that helpful for good marriages wanting to make them even better. -- If you have major issues

I wish I had read this book & "Ten Stupid Things Women..." before I married! These books will help you see if your relationship is a healthy one, if your partner is emotionally healthy, and if you are healthy (if you can view things honestly!!!) We all pick up wrong ideas & relational concepts as we are growing up. These books can help you sort things out and move toward health & happiness. Although Dr. Laura has a biblical background, her ideas are sound & presented from a sensical point of view. IT IS NEVER TOO LATE! -- Must read!!!

I have a long commute to work and decided to get the audio book instead of the print version. The cover said it was 3 hours long, but it was more like 2 1/2. I was a little disappointed with the brevity. The narration itself was expressive and easy to listen to.

"Dr. Laura" admittedly does take some getting used to, with her strong opinions and old-fashioned standards. When I first starting listening to her radio show on Sirius, I couldn't believe how harsh she is with callers she doesn't agree with-especially the women. (She's totally against mothers who work outside the home and divorced parents who even entertain thoughts of another relationship before all their children are 18. I think it's great if mothers are able to be stay-at-home moms, but not everyone is able to do this.)

That said, if you can get past her judgmental nature and are open to doing things differently to improve your relationship,she does offer some good advice. -- Certainly worth a listen