Relationships Matter

Emotional Intelligence was an international phenomenon, appearing on the New York Times bestseller list for over a year and selling more than five million copies worldwide. Now, once again, Daniel Goleman has written a groundbreaking synthesis of the latest findings in biology and brain science, revealing that we are “wired to connect” and the surprisingly deep impact of our relationships on every aspect of our lives.

Far more than we are consciously aware, our daily encounters with parents, spouses, bosses, and even strangers shape our brains and affect cells throughout our bodies—down to the level of our genes—for good or ill. In Social Intelligence, Daniel Goleman explores an emerging new science with startling implications for our interpersonal world. Its most fundamental discovery: we are designed for sociability, constantly engaged in a “neural ballet” that connects us brain to brain with those around us.

Our reactions to others, and theirs to us, have a far-reaching biological impact, sending out cascades of hormones that regulate everything from our hearts to our immune systems, making good relationships act like vitamins—and bad relationships like poisons. We can “catch” other people’s emotions the way we catch a cold, and the consequences of isolation or relentless social stress can be life-shortening. Goleman explains the surprising accuracy of first impressions, the basis of charisma and emotional power, the complexity of sexual attraction, and how we detect lies. He describes the “dark side” of social intelligence, from narcissism to Machiavellianism and psychopathy. He also reveals our astonishing capacity for “mindsight,” as well as the tragedy of those, like autistic children, whose mindsight is impaired.

Is there a way to raise our children to be happy? What is the basis of a nourishing marriage? How can business leaders and teachers inspire the best in those they lead and teach? How can groups divided by prejudice and hatred come to live together in peace?

The answers to these questions may not be as elusive as we once thought. And Goleman delivers his most heartening news with powerful conviction: we humans have a built-in bias toward empathy, cooperation, and altruism–provided we develop the social intelligence to nurture these capacities in ourselves and others.

User Reviews about Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships

Social Intelligence builds on the key points that Goleman made in Emotional Intelligence and in Primal Leadership. There are many new insights in this book, including the imperative of connecting with people as human beings through face-to-face, heart-to-heart, forthright communications about the things that matter at the deepest levels. The points about the early shaping of personality during a mother's interaction with infants is must reading for new parents. For both children and adults, body language and tone of voice are more important than the words said, and we must pay attention to these non-verbal modes. -- Fantastic Build on Emotional Intelligence and Primal Leadership

Dr. Goleman has written a masterpiece by separating our "Low Brain" from our "High Brain". Using this construct as a common thread he is able to articulate how we have been programmed to sense things "socially" in milliseconds and dialog and writen words in seconds and minutes. The most powerful example used is how people on a common platform, when something is not ordinary,can be quickly calmed down by the simple, social connection of seeing how others are perceiving the event. From that construct we can now all see why it is much easier for us to communicate in person as opposed to reading something or talking on a phone. Furthermore our "High Brain" as we develop can deteriorate the use of our "Low Brain" leaving us less able to effectively communicate socially. Finally he opines that we can retrieve our "Low Brain" awareness and compliment it with our "High Brain" communication by using leaning tools to "Re-Teach" ourselves how to read "Low Brain" signals. And if we don't it is to our own detriment. In the world of emails, twitter and other on-line socializing losing our "Low Brain" skills is more and more likely and will ultimately make it harder and harder to communicate person-to-person. -- In My Top 10 Books

The author posits that social intelligence is an important trait in our lives and often takes place in a level outside our general consciousness. He also attempts to distinguishing between "social intelligence" and "manipulative social control". While aspects of social intelligence can be used to manipulate, true social intelligence goes beyond that.

After describing the concept of "social intelligence" in the first part of the book, he goes on to detail many of the examples of where "social intelligence" can be used to achieve true games in individual relationships and society at large. Many of these arguments come across as "socialist" (which should not be surprising, given that they are based on "social" intelligence.)

He provides some scholarly base throughout the book, yet never comes across as being overly academic, making the book easily readable. -- Readable and full of examples