Relationships Matter

As a follow-up to his bestselling book Life Strategies, Oprah acolyte Phillip C. McGraw, Ph.D., moves from aiding the aimless individual to coaching the disconnected couple. McGraw has distilled his more than two decades of counseling experience into a seven-step strategy he calls "Relationship Rescue.""I'm prepared to kick a hole in the wall of the pain-ridden, unhappy maze you've gotten yourself into, and provide you clear access to action-oriented answers and instructions on what you must do to have what you want," says Dr. Phil. His aim is to expose and eliminate the saboteurs that cause senseless damage to already-fragile marriages, and, like an emotional root canal, to replace them with values he says provide positive results. If you follow Dr. Phil's strategy, he will lead you on a precise journey to uncover your heart and then share it with your partner as part of taking the "risk of intimacy."Dr. Phil leads you to "reconnect with your core" in the first five steps of his seven-step strategy. By no means a quick fix, there are in-depth and rigorous questionnaires, surveys, tests, and profiles that require a "brutally candid" mindset, with such fill-in-the-blanks as "List five things that today would make you fall out of love with your partner." With this internal work accomplished, you'll then move on to reconnecting with your partner during a two-week, half-hour-a-day short course. As a "dyad," you and your loved one take turns giving monologues on topics such as "The most positive thing I took away from my mother and father's relationship was..."Once the "reconnection" has been established, Dr. Phil says the work shifts to a management role, as relationships are always a work in progress. Dr. Phil humorously refers to his own marriage throughout the book, sharing his mishaps and victories in learning to accept and enjoy what he sees as fundamental but complementary differences between men and women. --John Youngs

User Reviews about Relationship Rescue: A Seven-Step Strategy for Reconnecting with Your Partner

The information presented within the book seems to have been taken from other programs and books. Nothing new here. It is basically a rehashing of what others have been saying for years. I was surprised at the similarities to others' work. I thought Dr Phil was an original. Maybe he is, just not in this area. -- nothing shocking

I really love Dr Phil, he has great wisdom and this book is packed with information for married couples. thank you Dr Phil. keep these wonderful informational books coming. -- Dr Phil's rescue

Dr. McGraw's book was given to me by my wife during a time where I had become emotionally withdrawn from the relationship; this gesture to me was a harbinger for a much needed and desired change in my attitude. While I did not want to venture away from my current intellectual pursuits an inner voice swayed me to realize that this was a simple, but effective, way of my wife asking for a change, she had attempted to communicate to me through something I loved, reading. This humble attempt at asking for a change got through to me more than the usual accusation of being "a callously pessimistic @$$hole", so for that I decided to read the book. Reading the book was indeed a trudge, not for the lack of Dr. McGraw's writing capabilities, but for my interest in this subject matter; it was just not what my Mind was interested in reading. So, with some inner strength I forced myself to read it, and was actually surprised at the affect it had on my life in a holistic manner.

First, Dr. McGraw's ability to convey his message to the laity is just admirable, this seems to be something I struggle with, so there was the first thing I focused on learning. Second, his ability to keep the book entertaining was humorously pleasing. Third, I like his style of not sugarcoating his perspective with an over convoluted approach, this is straight forward stuff. Fourth, this book is focused on your problems that are ingrained in your psyche; its thesis is "Fix yourself by realizing where you contribute to the problems, everyone is at fault, but you are to blame no one but yourself."

Now, I am not into clichés but this book did help me in profound ways, and I think only those people that remain pompously hubris and falsely self-righteous can walk away from this and claim that they got absolutely nothing. Believe me, this book is 251 pages long, there IS at least one sentence in the book that will make you contemplate change.

Enough about my subjective perspective, Dr. McGraw, as I have said earlier, attempts to aid you in finding what your contributions to the problems of the relationship are and how to make effective changes. Throughout the book he asks you to take several surveys and write down various items he wishes you to deeply contemplate, these are beneficial, but may seem somewhat trivial or inane at first, just do it. Later in the book he describes the top ten relationship myths, this part of the book is quite enlightening and does relieve one of the institutionalized perspective of what a relationship should be. After that section he describes how you can eliminate your "bad spirits" so the problems of the relationship are at least not perpetuated by your contribution of negative action and reaction. McGraw also gives you a set of exercises to execute with your spouse which if used will indeed be effective. Again, this may seem somewhat trivial or inane at first, just do it. Another reason I like this book is that Dr. McGraw does not claim to be the Messiah of relationships and he ensures this by identifying his own personal problems. He does not claim that this book will save your relationship, it is meant only as an initiatory state of a change that must be made or else you will merely continue to live the caustic culture of relationship that you are in now.

The most interesting thing about this book is that even though Dr. McGraw is a scholar of multiple degrees, this is not the typical meandering of the "intellectual" mind that becomes perplexing and enigmatic to the general populace. I definitely recommend this book as an accouterment for the defense of saving your relationship, but first you have to realize that to a degree, you are wrong.

One of the most influential quotes in the book that garnered acquiesce of my ego was this, "[A] relationship is far more enjoyable when you're with someone who enriches your life, not simply reflects it." That may be just platitude to some, but that was one of my core issues in my relationship. - D.R.Thomas
-- If your marrige is failing, do not descriminate ANY help!

This program can turn a sour relationship, revive a mundane, and inspire an already great one. I recommend this book to all my friends, especially those who are struggling in their relationship. Do the work and reap the benefits. It is a truly amazing & life changing program no matter what state your relationship is in. I purchased two books & my spouse & I worked the program together. Dr. Phil makes it clear that you alone can make positive changes, even if you work it alone. This program is written in an easy to understand manner and can make for a better life. The sooner you begin, the sooner the benefits! -- Real, life changing help! Struggling or thriving relationship can benefit!