Relationships Matter

Gurian shows how the challenges a man typically encounters in relationships--such as codependency, insecurity, and the need for control--most often have their origin in the way he learned to relate to his mother. This guided journey helps facilitate healing in the primal bond and other love relationships.

User Reviews about Mothers - Sons - and Lovers: How a Man's Relationship with His Mother Affects the Rest of His Life

This book does an excellent explanation of exactly how I felt toward my mother, and helped me to start to release my victimized perception of myself regarding her. The philosophies about hurting nature as a result of my mom seemed quite out of place, everywhere they were mentioned, but nearly everything else was well placed. -- Excellent explanation

Having just used the "Search Inside the Book" feature on Amazon to look at parts of another of Gurian's books (about choosing movies and books for boys and teens), I used it again to get a feel for this book. It convinced me to buy it, just as it convinced me NOT to buy that other book.

While browsing through sections of this book (Mothers, Sons, and Lovers...)I was intrigued by many of the points made. I wanted to know more, including how our society short changes boys in all sorts of way, major and minor, resulting in men who may be searching for a stronger sense of what being "male" in our society means.

One of the most crucial relationships is between a boy and his mother, as well as an active, engaged father. What I particularly liked was the emphasis on helping men heal past wounds, on building from the here and now to the future. I didn't find this book to be a "Blame the Mother" type book but more of an exploration of what can go right - and wrong - in families and , most particularly, between mother and son.

The insights I got from this book will affect my future behavior with my sons and I hope that males who are now living on their own but with unresolved issues with their mothers find solace, support and healing from reading this book.

I confess that I found some of the language to be a bit high-flown for my taste but that is just a very personal opinion and it may not bother other readers. Get past that and go for the nuggets of wisdom that are in this book.

I would strongly suggest readers also get a copy of the book and/or DVD Raising Cain because the it addresses some of the concerns the author has raised about how to raise boy in a system that isn't often designed to best meet their needs (in particular, the average public or private school). -- Yes, it has some hyperbole and a pop psychology feel but it is still thought-provoking

Would it not seem common sense self preservation to politely run not walk in the other direction from any man who wants you to know this about him right off the bat? Mother-bound men in literature and film from Oedipus to Norman Bates -- and every sentimental serial killer with a picture of his mother on his nightstand in between -- have yet to teach even 21st Century women the hard lessons in steering clear of this terrible spidermother tragedy. Should have long been a classic in popular psychology; recommended. -- "I'm very close to my mother."

This book was tremendously helpful in helping me to understand how my Man's Mother shaped his life, why he has such difficulty with intimate relationships and what perhaps he can do to help himself. Thank you Paul Gurian! A library must have for any woman who finds herself involved with a Peter Pan, a perfectionist, or a misogynist. -- Female Reader