Relationships Matter

Mixed matches are more complicated relationships than those between people from similar backgrounds. Often, the very qualities that attracted us to our partners ultimately lie at the roots of our most difficult problems. For even when partners don't feel a strong identification with their racial, religious, or cultural groups, they discover that their loyalty to the past goes deeper than they realized. Psychotherapist Joel Crohn has learned in years of counseling couples in cross-cultural relationships that how partners negotiate their cultural and religious differences is as important as what the difference are.

Over time, the reserve of a Protestant wife can seem like emotional withholding to her Jewish husband, whose openness seems intrusive to her. An Asian father may feel his children need more discipline, while his American wife thinks they have it harder than she did. A black Trinidadian man is excited about the opportunities in the United States, while his Detroit-born black girlfriend thinks he's naive about racism. The methods in Mixed Matches have helped these and many other couples approach each other compassionately, teaching them to "translate" their different styles of expression and negotiate successful resolutions. Dr. Crohn also offers practical advice on how couples can confront prejudice and stereotypes, deal with in-laws, and help children achieve a sense of identity in a bicultural family.

User Reviews about Mixed Matches: How to Create Successful Interracial - Interethnic - and Interfaith Relationships

I bought this not only because I had to return the library one but I know I will need this on my bookshelf for later.
The language and the advicing in this book are awesome for mixed matches.
Shipping was very fast and the book is in excelent condition!! -- Excelent!!!

I bought this book early on in a mixed relationship, and I'm really glad I did. It definitely helped me shape my thoughts around the differences in origin with my boyfriend (we've been together a year and a half now). I didn't use it as a "fix" for a problem, just as a way to help me think things through. To believe that everything's going to be fine just because you're in love is a recipe for disaster, and this book will help to walk you through that. Plus, like someone else said, sometimes just hearing that you're not the only one going through it is the best help. -- Very helpful for getting your head in the right place.

I am an American in a relationship with a Kenyan man. I've read several books on the subject of intercultural relationships, as there is no one in my life to advise me in this area. This book was the toughest to get through because it is written on a much higher reading level than the other books were. However, it has been the most helpful. At the end of every chapter, there are worksheet-type pages. This book is more like counseling than simply reading. He introduces different issues in each chapter, and then he guides you through exploring how this issue is affecting you and your culture, your partner and their culture, and your relationship together. -- a guide for working through issues

I'm the product of a mixed match. My mother is Jewish, my father isn't, I wasn't raised anything.

The book really helped me understand my own identity, and my own issues, plus the issues that led each of my parents to choosing a partner with a different background. -- book helped me (product of a mixed match)

If you're looking for quick practical advice on meeting your partner's parents or what to wear to an Indian wedding, try the "Complete Idiot's Guide to Interfaith Relationships." But if you're looking for a deeper, more thoughtful discussion of the complexities of "mixed matches," especially their impact on the family and children, this book is for you. It delves into a very astute exploration of the motivations and attractions behind interfaith/interethnic/interracial relationships, and it thoroughly explores the difficulties involved in negotiating differences as they impact the partnership and the family. The discussion on raising children in "mixed" households is particularly enlightening. This book is heavy on the pyschology, which might be a turn-off to some, but it definitely gets the reader thinking about complex underlying issues. -- An in-depth look at interfaith and interethnic relationships