Relationships Matter

In It’s Not Just Who You Know, Tommy Spaulding—the former CEO of Up With People—has written the new How to Win Friends and Influence People for the twenty-fist century. Success—in business and in life—is all about relationships.  In this powerful guide to reaching out to others, Spaulding takes Dale Carnegie’s classic philosophy to the next level—how to create lasting relationships that go well beyond mere superficial contacts and “second floor” relationships.
 
Tommy Spaulding learned at a very young age that he was not destined to be an academic star. He may have gotten a 4.0, but only if he added his high school and college GPAs together. The reason he found academics so challenging, he discovered later, is that Tommy is dyslexic. But his dyslexia didn’t hold him back—in fact, it helped him to develop the talents he did have.  For Tommy is a natural leader; he realized early on that he had a unique ability to connect with others, whatever their age or background.  As a teenager, he was given a copy of How to Win Friends and Influence People by his father, and it quickly became his bible.  He became a national finalist for the DECA Entrepreneurial Business competition in high school, and ran successfully for senior class president.  He went on to become the CEO of Up With People, one of the largest nonprofit international leadership organizations in the world.
 
At every step, Tommy learned that the secret to getting ahead was reaching out for the support and insight and influence of others. None of us achieve great success alone. We need the help of other people.
 
In this candid, revealing book, Tommy expands upon the principles that Dale Carnegie outlined 75 years ago, and shows us how to take them one step further to accomplish the impossible in our lives and careers.  To invite others to be genuine partners in our lives and success, Tommy explains, you have to first be interested in other people.  It’s not just who you know, or what they can do for you, but what you can do for them. Motives matter. Establishing a deeper connection is about authenticity, not manipulation.  Reciprocity, not selfishness. Every relationship is a two-way street; we never know when a chance encounter can change the direction of our life. 
 
In the bestselling tradition of Dale Carnegie’s classic, It’s Not Just Who You Know shows how each and every one of us can use the power of netgiving—of helping others—to expand our world and achieve our goals, and make a difference in our job, our career, and our community.

User Reviews about It's Not Just Who You Know: Transform Your Life (and Your Organization) by Turning Colleagues and Contacts into Lasting - Genuine Relationships

Tommy Spaulding's, "It's Not Just Who You Know" is an inspiring and insightful look into carrying relationships to higher levels through understanding and commitment utilizing sympathy and empathy to its highest level. He explains how to not just use relationship building for personal and business gain, but for partnership and understanding of one's goals and desires. From sending little hand written notes to picking up the phone to share something you have read, will increase your partnership immensely. I recommend this book to anyone who wishes to build their relationships with friends, family, co-workers, subordinates and customers. If you pick up anything from this, it should be how to improve yourself versus your business and likeability.

Tommy is a true pioneer when it comes to relationships. He understands and listens to everyone he is in touch with and is willing to share this with the world. Do yourself the greatest favor and purchase this book!! You won't regret it. Also, share with your children and students as this will help them develop into true Leaders in their communities. -- A Must Read for All Ages!! ...Keeps you in tune throughout!

"We have spoken openly to you, our heart is wide open." -- 2 Corinthians 6:11 (NKJV)

Tommy Spaulding comes naturally by his interest in other people. He's outgoing. He likes to meet people. He has many good purposes in mind. In the process of following his heart in drawing closer to others, he has learned that it's not enough to have acquaintances, or close associates, or even friends. The most satisfying relationships comes from being more concerned about doing something good for others more than accomplishing any other purpose.

In this heart-warming memoir, Mr. Spaulding describes the way we relate to one another in terms of five floors and encourages you to move onto the higher floors:

1. First floor: transactional connections (People do things for one another because it's their job.)

2. Second floor: includes casual relationships where you know people somewhat, but you aren't friends.

3. Third floor: peers working toward common goals, but the personal connection is pretty superficial.

4. Fourth floor: connections beyond getting the job or task done (mentors, good friends, close colleagues, and people you care about beyond your family).

5. Fifth floor (penthouse): shared values, openness, candor, vulnerability, and focus on the other person's needs (your closest and most intimate relationships)

While Mr. Spaulding suffered a lot from dyslexia in his youth, that disorder certainly didn't affect his story-telling ability or his heart. For those who have never considered that those they engage with every day can be people who they are open and trusting with, this book will be an eye opener.

Some people might be tempted to characterize this book as being about advanced networking, (and there's certainly an element of how to develop connections with the rich and powerful) but the book's real message is about getting more out of life than just meeting your sales quota this month. I was pleased to see that Mr. Spaulding was candid in explaining that not everyone you trust will be worthy of your trust. His advice is to keep loving and being good to others anyway.

I think he has written a good book for those who want to be civic leaders. If you know someone who aspires to such a role, do the person a favor and share a copy of this book with him or her. -- A Warm-Hearted Memoir about the Virtues and Benefits of Drawing Closer to Others in Loving Ways

Tommy Spaulding's book, "It's Not Just Who You Know," reveals the keys to creating and maintaining long-lasting, authentic relationships. An incredible book; an incredible person; and an incredible message. I highly recommend it.

-Greg Giesen
Author, Speaker, Coach and Radio Talk Show Host
[...] -- Why Relationships Matter

If you are at all on the fence about acquiring a copy of Tommy Spaulding's book, get over the fence! It's Not Just Who You Know is an excellent read for today's up and coming entrepreneurs, business people, college students and people of all ages and generations. I am a firm believer in the concept that people never stop evolving, learning and moving. In going through the processes of our daily lives, we encounter others on so many levels. The opportunity for real relationships exists on all those levels...from the board room to the checkout line at the food store.

I put this book on my Kindle, and will read it over and over. It has become a great resource tool, and when I feel my children are ready to fully appreciate all Tommy has to offer, I will ask that they read it as well. His sound, heartfelt and just plain common sense advice is priceless. My hat goes off to him, and I am grateful to have the opportunity to spend time with such a wonderful read!! -- so good it earned my first review ever!!

I read a lot of books on leadership, in fact I have a Ph.D. in leadership -- and this is the best book I have read in years. Tommy's stories are heartfelt links to success for everyone. If you want to be inspired, motivated and transform your life and that of your organization -- READ THIS BOOK. Tommy Spaulding is changing the world -- one relationship at a time. -- Must Read for all