Relationships Matter

Ashley Stanford is married to a man with Asperger Syndrome, and her book provides the answers to many of the questions asked by the increasing number of people in that situation. She explains how behaviors that may have appeared odd - or even downright irritating - are the manifestation of AS, and shows how understanding can lead to greater tolerance or to change. Stanford provides a wealth of strategies for living successfully with the more uncompromising aspects of AS, pointing out that AS also brings enormous strengths to a relationship, and emphasizes the value of understanding. Including many quotes from people in long-term AS relationships, the book describes many positive solutions that have worked for other couples.

User Reviews about Asperger Syndrome and Long-Term Relationships

This has been the best book on Asperger's I have yet read (6 and counting). Details all the aspects of Asperger's syndrome with suggestions for dealing with the behaviors and validating the spouse's feelings. -- The best yet

I purchased this book a month ago in a last ditch effort to save my 23 year marriage to a man with Asbergers and to better understand our triplets w/As as well. The boys always had the dx but my husband was hesitant to accept the diagnosis. Although I knew what AS was and felt I was very knowledgable I wasn't. This book really takes you from the begining of a diagnosis, TO HOW TO AFFECTIVELY COMMUNICATE AND UNDERSTAND YOURSELF AND YOUR AS FAMILY MEMBER. This book is wonderful not just for marriages will work for any relationship w/ an AS. My AS son is in a relationship with an AS girl, and asked me if he could borrow the book,:)
Our marriage of 23 years a month ago was ready to blow up in smoke. Is now on the road to a comfortable place of understanding and communication. -- Saved my marriage of 23 years

This was the most helpful book in actually explaining to the reader what the DSM-IV-TR diagnostic criteria for adult AS actually translates to, in layman's terms, and what those criteria may look like to a non-Asperger partner. For non-AS/AS partners who want their relationships to get better, who know they love one another and who desire to stay together, Ashley Stanford has given us a wonderful resource. She's ever hopeful, loving, and respectful of her relationship with her AS husband, while remaining honest in her sharing of how difficult it can be sometimes. Stanford shares the insights she's gained from living in an AS/non-AS marriage. She sheds light on how the many forms and nuances of Asperger syndrome may present itself, which can lead to difficulties for long-term relationships, as well as how to understand what those actions really mean. This understanding helps non-AS partners to avoid hurt feelings and promote better understanding between partners for their differences. This was the most upbeat, supportive, encouraging book I've read to date, and I've read many. I'd recommend this book highly to those who are determined to have a healthier relationship with a partner who has AS. -- A valuable resource for AS/non-AS partnerships

Thinking I maybe had Asperger's (later found out I didn't), I sent away for a half-dozen books on Asperger's from Amazon. This book, written by a N/T with an Aspie marriage partner, resonated with me best. Each book I've gleaned or finished has its strengths. "Pretending to be Normal" offering a sometimes confusing and painful but vivid and earnest first-hand account; "Aspergers in Love" digesting sometimes revealing, sometimes sketchy results from interviewing 41 adults, mostly men, with AS; and "The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome" with its definitive, in-depth knowledge. Ashley Stanford's book, though, I felt, cut right to the chase. It's very straightforward, intelligent, illuminating and compassionate -- offering a bulleted list of traits in the first few pages, along with a summary and example of the various diagnostic criteria used around the world. While aimed at the N/T partner to better cope and appreciate an Aspy partner's often alternate-universe ways, it doubles as a heartfelt revelation and validation for anyone with Asperger's or possessing a few Aspie traits (I'm faceblind and ultrasensitive to sound, for instance). It offers compassionate understanding on making unlikely relationships work. For anyone who thinks they might be or know of an Aspie and wants to better appreciate and grok their rarefied realities, or better understand the mysteries of human behavior in general, this book's a gem.

From her introduction: "I believe that someday we will wake up as a civilization and realize that the Aspie traits that now confuse us are part of the core of human progress." -- It's Got the Goods

I got this book a few days ago and I'm half-way through it. I've already gained a MUCH better understanding of him and the problems in our relationship. What's more, this book frequently gives real-life solutions that have worked for other couples dealing with problems. I'd recommend this book to anyone whose partner has a diagnosis of AS. -- Wow